What could possibly make a smooth, creamy ice cream taste any better? Booze. That's what. And who better to test the award-winning booze-ice cream hybrids than the hilarious Facts. taste test panel. Brain freeze, meet hangover. You were meant for one another.
So how do the Guinness-sipping, Jameson-drinking Irish feel about booze in their ice cream? They feel like any adult would. In other words, like a kid who just got two weeks worth of snow days at Christmas time after being spoiled with their entire Santa's wish list. So pretty darn good I'd say.
Starting off things right, a little espresso martini is in order. Or, uh, Guinness. Yeah, that stuff. The ice cream must be way too good because after putting it in their mouths they can't even taste the Guinness. Are we sure these folks are really Irish?
Alright, maybe not all Irish are gung-ho about Guinness, but how about a nice minty mojito? The alcohol seems to be making up for the fact that this leafy ice cream has a bit too much green and not enough of the rum. Where'd all the rum go?
Ahh, forget the rum, now it's time for a little thing we call G&T - gin and tonic folks. What brings to mind a flavorful blend of healthy rich botanicals apparently in ice cream form brings about thoughts of mash potatoes and child puke. So possibly gin really is a sophisticated old man drink, because judging by the panels face's, even in ice cream form gin is an acquired taste.
Maybe they'll have a little better luck with red wine ice cream. You may not be able to sense a possible cure of Alzheimer's by sniffing red wine in ice cream form - because frozen ice cream smells like ice - but if you eat it apparently it will get you pretty smashed. At least if you're part of the taste test panel. It's not cider, not a liquor, not a spirit, not a beer, what could it possibly be . . . oh wait, the thing people cook with, duh. It's wine. But who drinks wine? I mean really? Wait hold on, newsflash, it tastes like bacon. So that's why red wine is so popular. If you've been deceived, you're not alone.
Then there was whiskey. In a new Irish-inspired slogan, "Whiskey and honey ice cream, it's sweet, it's bitter, it will get the job done. So good, you'll still think there was bacon in your red wine ice cream." How much booze was in this stuff? Liquor doesn't really freeze, otherwise I would say it's pure alcohol.
Maybe they don't love Guinness and whiskey as much as we though. But if there's one thing to take away from this Facts. taste test, it's that if you can't drink during the day, eat your booze in ice cream form. That, and "alcoholic ice cream, go!" Who's thirsty? I mean hungry? I mean, dessert anyone?