Oh Elf on the Shelf. Some love its sneaky ability to keep the kiddos on their best behavior, while naysayers feel like it's a little silly to add one more task on their Christmas to-do list every morning. We've seen them in all sorts of hilarious situations, but it's this story of how one Texas mom ended the life of her Elf on the Shelf that has captured the hearts of every family in the country this year. Brittany Mease of Wylie, Texas, is just like every other mom this holiday season -- she's trying her best!
Meet Elfis. He is the unfortunate Elf in this story. As you can see, he took a real beating.
You have to read the whole story in her words. There are curse words in her story, so read with an open mind.
Mom of the year award goes to yours truly
Y'all know I can't stand doing Elf on the Shelf but I suck it up every year and do it to see those precious smiles on my beautiful children's faces
Elfis, our elf that we've had for 5 years, arrived on December 1st with a broken leg and blamed it on the kids for leaving their toys out, saying he tripped and broke his leg but Doc McStuffins fixed him up and put a cast on him. The note told the kids that he was on strict bedrest orders and couldn't move for 14 days. [[Mom win, right? I just got a free pass to not worry about moving that creepy guy for TWO WEEKS! Heck ya!]]
The other day the kids noticed that it had been longer than 14 days and he hadn't moved so when they weren't looking I grabbed him off the kitchen counter and quickly tossed him in the oven until I could move him later and not raise any suspicion. They have been waiting for him to come back for a couple days but life's been a little crazy with Gray being super sick and my life being a joke in general so...... I forgot.
I seriously forgot I put the freaking elf in the freaking oven
Today the kids wanted leftover pasta for lunch and Gray likes it when I bake leftover pasta because he says it tastes better so that's exactly what I did. (I will literally do anything to get him to eat right now since he's not had an appetite lately...)
I preheated the oven and started cleaning the kitchen. About 4 minutes later I started to smell something REALLY funky and that's when all hell broke loose and I broke my son's heart.
In mid conversation with Brittany I yelled "FUCKKKKKKKKK!!!! THE ELF! THE
FUCKING ELF IS IN THE OVEN" Brittany rushed in to help me get him out and Gray came in the kitchen with excitement (literally the happiest I think I've seen him since he got out of the hospital) thinking our elf was back but his world fell apart as we were using kitchen utensils to get our burnt and melting elf out of the damn oven.
I would have thought that with Gray being older he would have laughed at it but it was Ily that laughed and Gray that got his little heart broken. I seriously suck.
Sooooo.... guess what I'm doing today? I'm having to scramble and find the other elf we have and then I have to call Santa (in front of the kids) and ask him if he will please pick Elfis up tonight. Ya know, since he is unable to make it to the North Pole to get fixed because his head literally popped off from being too hot once we pulled him out of the oven and his feet are completely melted off.
Damn this Elf on the Shelf shit. Wish me luck. Let's see how I get myself outta this one ?
[update: Ily was "glad the elf is gone because now he can't tell on her" -- she's a Savage child. #SavageMILSOs raise #SavageMilBrats]
Poor Elfis, locked in the oven with no chance of escape and no trips to the North Pole anytime soon.
This hilarious story has been shared over 110,000 times and saw over 50,000 comments. Clearly this mishap struck a chord with families everywhere who are bound to their elves every holiday season.
Does your family participate in Elf on a Shelf? Let us know in the comments!
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