There’s not stopping it. Once September roles around the elusive pumpkin flavored everything returns. Pumpkin spiced lattes, pumpkin beers, and all the pumpkin baked goods you can scarf down before retiring the flavor for another year. People simply go ga-ga for pumpkin. While I personally detest all things pumpkin flavored – even actual pumpkins – I can’t deny pumpkin spice has its own cult following.
There is such a thing, however, as taking it too far. Don’t believe me? Take a look at these 15 absurd pumpkin flavored and scented items. From ridiculous to down-right unacceptable, I think you’ll agree, pumpkin should have its limits.
1. Pumpkin Spice Almonds
Salted and sugared almonds are perfectly fine, but pumpkin spice almonds? I’m not sure how I feel about this.
2. Pumpkin Pie Spice Pringles
Pringles likes to come up with some clever flavors. There’s the pizza, crab, wasabi mayo, and even ramen. Pumpkin Pie Spice, however, now that’s just taking it too far. Once you pop these Pringles, you will definitely be able to stop.
3. Brach’s Pumpkin Spice Candy Corn
I’ve got a great idea, let’s make candy corn taste even worse by throwing in pumpkin spice. Oh, wait, it looks like they already beat me to it.
This is a mean trick. I should have chosen treat.
4. Pumpkin Spice Hummus
I’m all for trying different hummus flavors. Beet, jalapeño, and cilantro, artichoke and feta, but pumpkin spice? You just made my heart cry.
Try our Roasted Pumpkin Hummus for a better savory flavor perfect for pretzels. Not any of this spiced mess.
5. KFC Pumpkin and Feta Twister
If you thought KFC chicken scented candles were ridiculous, then wait until you bite into a crispy, crunchy pumpkin and feta chicken twister. That’s finger lickin’ gross.
6. Pumpkin Spice Latte Burger
If you’ve never had an Umami burger, let me preface by saying they make a tasty burger. Don’t be fooled by the looks of this burger, however, it’s a pumpkin spice latte burger.
Whatever evil force possessed them to come up with this pumpkin-flavored burger is beyond me. While I have yet to try it, something tells me there’s a reason it hasn’t reared its ugly head in a few years.
7. Twinkies Pumpkin Spice
Don’t get me wrong, I love Twinkies. Especially chocolate peanut butter. But if the banana cream filling doesn’t sound good—which let’s face it, artificial banana is never good —then can you imagine a pumpkin spice-infused Twinkies cream? Uhhh, shivers just ran up my spine.
8. PEEP’s Pumpkin Spice Latte
There is one time a year and one time a year only when it’s acceptable to eat PEEP’s, and that’s Easter. Even then these gooey, sugar-coated weird chick-shaped marshmallows still taste gross.
So while they may think coating them in chocolate may make them more appetizing, you can’t mask the flavor of pumpkin spice.
9. Breath Palette Toothpaste
The Crest pumpkin spice flavored toothpaste may be a joke, but this isn’t. You can actually buy toothpaste that tastes like pumpkin pudding.
Did I mention this brand also sells one that leaves your mouth fresh full of the flavor of Indian Curry? Seriously, I’m not making this up.
10. Pumpkin Spice Soap on a Rope
Soap on a rope, meet pumpkin spice. You can not only eat your spice and brush your teeth with it, but you can bathe in all its pumpkin-y glory.
11. One DTQ Pumpkin Spice Beard Oil
After your done washing away the stench of the day and replacing it with the pungent odor of your pumpkin spice soap on a rope, you can oil up your beard with a matching scent.
12. Native Pumpkin Spiced Latte Deodorant
You know what we don’t need? To smell like a spiced up sweaty pumpkin. Pumpkin plus BO? No, no I do not want my pits to smell like a pumpkin spiced latte.
13. Espree Pumpkin Spice Dog Shampoo
What did your pup ever do to you? Sure, they may have peed on the rug and tried to bite the mailman, but does that mean you should bathe them in pumpkin spice?
14. Adam’s Pumpkin Spice Detail Spray
Hate the smell of your musky car? Well then boy, will you love the scent of this pumpkin spice detail. Wait, hold on, no, no you probably won’t. But if you do, you’ll be happy to know you can use it inside your house.
15. Simply Beyond Pumpkin Spray on Spice
This is simply absurd. Rather than using real spices, you can spray the flavor of pumpkin spice unto whatever it is you’re using. Kind of like perfume, you can coat your food in this wafting scent. Whatever happened to just using good old-fashioned pumpkin spice?
While they made not have made the list because quite frankly, they aren’t real, the idea of pumpkin spice KFC Fried Chicken, Spam, and Tampax may be the worst pumpkin themed ideas out there. Let’s just pray they never come into existence.