15 Reasons Everyone Should Stop Trying to Saber Champagne Bottles

Without fail, on New Year’s Day or January 2, there are a flood of YouTube videos with a similar title – champagne saber fail. Let 2017 be the year you stop trying to saber your champagne bottle and just stick to the good ol’ fashioned cork-popping tradition that is tradition for a reason.

Not only can the act of sabering your champagne fail miserably, but it can also be detrimental when it goes wrong so just try to avoid injuries this year. If you’re not convinced, here are 15 videos of champagne saber fails that just might change your tune.

But first, since you’ve already probably heard a buddy talking about how they’re going to attempt this feat when the clock strikes midnight and ushers us all out of 2016 (thank goodness), here’s a video of how it should look.

The correct way:

It looks simple, but don’t be fooled.

Here’s how it looks when real people try to saber champagne bottles.

1. “That’s a good bottle!”

Half of the champagne went on the floor, and the videographer was clearly not pleased. We second her response.

2. “To 2011!”

This video just proves how long we’ve been trying (and failing) to perfect the champagne saber trick. It’s just not happening.

3. Don’t drop it, at least.

The accompanying sound effects really add to this one.

4. “That’s great because we can’t drink that now.”

Maybe a butcher’s knife wasn’t the best choice.

5. Blink and you’ll miss it.

We can just tell this did not end well, or with any champagne in the bottle.

6. “I’m afraid I’m gonna screw it up!”

Honestly, 90 percent of sabers end in a fail. Don’t sweat it.

7. “This is not gonna end well.”

In the words of the videographer, “I feel like you should be wearing protective eye wear.”

8. It wasn’t the knife that broke the bottle …

Well, I guess people can just drink plain orange juice at brunch?

9. “Get off the carpet!”

Maybe just try and saber it outside if you must?

10. Apparently it’s hard for dentists in particular.

Judging by this video’s title, if you’re a dentist, just don’t even try this.

11. “I’m scared.”

Me too, girl. Me too.

12. Maybe look at the bottle while you’re doing it?

I thought his fingers were in danger, but it was really just that sweet bottle of champagne.

13. “What’re we gonna drink now, then?”

The lone half of the bottle is so sad in her hand.

14. “Ready when you are!”

Just when you think someone will get it right, it goes wrong.

15. The slow motion effect:

Just look at all that champagne going to waste.

Let this be a lesson to start treating your champagne with the respect it deserves and stop trying to slice it open with a saber like a heathen who has to pretend to “like” drinking only half a bottle!

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