Welcome the Lemony Snicket Debut on Netflix with 5 Unfortunate Recipes

If you are a fan of delicious recipes with minimal ingredients and even less work, then stop reading here. Everything that follows will only serve to make you miserable. Then again, that is the whole point behind the A Series of Unfortunate Events series, which premiers on Netflix on January 13.

If you are a true fan, then you know that not only does food take center stage in many of the scenes throughout this series, but the recipes that are highlighted are often terribly complicated or terribly disappointing; a perfect metaphor for the tumultuous and often difficult lives of the mystery-solving Baudelaire children.

Throughout the 13 books penned by Lemony Snicket, the pen name for Daniel Handler, food is often a supporting character driving the plot and influencing the direction of scenes. In many cases, it is often used to highlight the internal emotional whirlwind that the orphaned siblings experience due to the trials and tribulations of their lives.

In fact, the series is introduced with a plate of bland boiled chicken, boiled potatoes and blanched string beans. Although no one really wishes to eat this dish that the children are served at the home of Mr. Poe in the first book, The Bad Beginning, it is nevertheless a great way to set the tone of the series. Not to worry if these aren’t your favorite flavors. Throughout the series there are many inspiring culinary creations that may insight even your children to begin experimenting in the kitchen.

One of the best-known dishes from the books is the pasta puttanesca. Actually, it may be the dish from the series that has gotten the most children into the kitchen. The pasta puttanesca is the dish that Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire throw together for the malevolent Count Olaf when he demands that they feed him and his theater troupe.

The ensuing scene is both comical and stressful, but the main takeaway from this scene is that pre-teenage children can indeed cook a delicious dish for their elders.

Besides this plate of pasta, there are many other dishes that you can select to make should you choose to throw a “ASOUE” watch party. Since the first season only covers books one through four, you can either choose from the various culinary creations that can be found in these installments, or you can do a little foreshadowing (a favorite Lemony Snicket device) and cook up something from one of the later books.

If you haven’t read the books or you are in need of some last minute inspiration for recipes, here are some not-so-unfortunate recipes that come from the series and will give you enough sustenance to make it through your binge-watch session.

1. Pasta Puttanesca

Pasta Puttanesca for the first day of the year ??? #Welcome2017 #PastaPuttanesca

A photo posted by Krista Marie Marzan Opendo ? (@chinkymarzan) on

At the very beginning of it all (or should I say The Bad Beginning), the Baudelaire children chop and mix garlic, olives, and anchovies to concoct a traditional Italian dish for Count Olaf. Their version, however, is unique as they are fascinated by all the interesting shapes that noodles come in.

If you’re going to watch “ASOUE” while you make this dish, I suggest you let out your inner child and mix and match your pasta shapes. For authenticity’s sake of course.

Get a recipe here.

2. Coconut Cream Cake

Thanks daddy for this cake ? #food #instafood #cake #creamcake #coconutcreamcake #oishi #delicious

A photo posted by Thùy Dương (@seoyangii) on

During their second adventure in The Reptile Room, the children are greeted by their Uncle Monty and fresh coconut cake.

Unfortunately, the sweet lightness of the cake doesn’t last. For you though, the creaminess of the frosting and the airiness of the cake can last the whole way through the episode.

Get a recipe here.

3. Chilled Cucumber Soup

#chilledcucumbersoup #gurkensuppe #guggumere

A photo posted by Sa Scha (@saschiii86) on

In the third book, The Wide Window, the orphaned trio are subjected to the uncertainty and over-cautiousness of Aunt Josephine. As a result of her inquietude, the poor aunt has a terrible fear of the stove and as a consequence serves only cold food.

Sadly, her cold soup is watery and tasteless. What a shame considering that this soup is a wonderful way to dream about summer freshness and flavor even in the depths of winter.

Get a recipe here.

4. Enchiladas with Red Tomato Sauce

¿ Se les antoja ? #EnchiladaRoja " La Calaca" #saboramexico #tdsgastro #gourmetexperience #GourmetExperienceSevilla

A photo posted by GourmetexperienceSevilla (@gourmetexperiencesevilla) on

When the trio arrives in The Vile Village, the seventh book in the series, they are fleeing criminal charges. They also spend their time trying to escape hot-air mobile home operated by the kindly handyman Hector.

Besides driving the get-away vehicle, Hector also makes great enchiladas to which he introduces the children. In the spirit of the series, here is a recipe even he would approve of.  

Get the recipe here.

5. Aqueous Martini

To quench your thirst you’re going to have to skip ahead to book six where the Baudelaire children are greeted by the uber-fashionable Esmé Squalor and her downtrodden husband Jerome. In the spirt of the fashionable, Esmé serves the latest drink: an aqueous martini. 

I would give you a recipe, but really this drink is simply chilled water with an olive in it.

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