We live in a crazy world. One thing that remains (relatively) consistent is coffee. Sure, various beans have various properties, but it’s hard to misidentify a cup o’ Joe. That being said, coffee chains like Starbucks take what could be a standard black cup of coffee and twist it on its head. They have tall venti cappa-what-os and iced fluffy lalas. Disclaimer: We aren’t positive, but we don’t know if those actually exist.
A recent instance of making coffee too complicated came up on Reddit.
We want to try and make sense of this, but we really, really can’t. We’re so fancy coffee ignorant that we’re stumped by the first line, but we figured out it’s a Grande Vanilla Bean Creme Frappuccino. How many types of milk can you add to it?
We see coconut milk, almond milk, Lactaid, soy, and heavy cream. There’s also milk’s solid cousin, Greek yogurt, on the list. Another solid relative of milk, protein powder, makes an appearance on this ridonkulous order.
There’s blueberry topping, agave, sugar, banana, strawberry, honey, caramel, and Stevia for sweetness. Don’t worry, though. It won’t be too sweet, as they’ve neglected to include sweet cream.
Someone took the time to calculate how much this order would cost.
The grand total? $11.14, and it makes no sense.
We’ve paid a little over that for an entire box from the hot salad bar at Whole Foods. Coffee should never, ever cost that much, regardless of how you want it to taste.
Is the above order real? We’ll never truly know. What we do know, however, is that we’ll take our coffee black for now. If we can’t have it black, we’ll add a dash of Jack Daniels, thank you very much.