Illegal Trespasser Is Busted Frying Chicken by Shocked Homeowner

Theft isn’t good. In fact, most people would go as far as saying that theft is flat-out bad. When it comes to stealin’, though, there are a couple of cold, hard facts. We’re no thieves, but we’d say that rule one to thievery seems clear enough. Don’t steal something unless it’s worth it.

Considering stealing a car? You probably shouldn’t steal a rusted-out ’77 Chevy truck with no tailgate. Other things you may not want to steal include chicken and vodka. In our opinion, a night in jail isn’t worth a little fried chicken and old vodka. One man happens to disagree with us.

According to The Gainesville Sun, Ronald Gregory Wesly really wanted chicken and vodka. He was arrested last Thursday after getting caught stealing from a home in Florida’s Alachua County.

When the unnamed home owner returned to her house, she found Wesly frying chicken. He was also drinking some of her vodka. Chicken and waffles is something we can get down with. Chicken and vodka is another story.

This wasn’t Wesly’s first run in with the law. He has had two prior theft convictions, and, for humor’s sake, we’re hoping his “to steal” list was the same. Breaking, entering, and frying is hilarious, but it’d be funnier if the same person duplicated the act.

Regardless of his last convictions, Wesly was sent to Alachua County’s jail after his most recent incident. When asked about how he felt the following morning, he simply replied with, “Pretty fried.” No, that quote is not real.

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