I will begin here by addressing the elephant in the room: Yes, I do actually realize that I am not a man writing this article – about men. In my defense, I did poll the wine-loving men in my life (of whom I know many) to see what questions exasperate them when all they want is to sit back and savor the aromas of a glass of wine.
The following collection is a curated selection from their responses.
1. “How could you like wine more than beer?”
I mean, it’s had so many more years of careful cultivation and craft. Just look at what the Greeks and Romans were drinking!
It’s amazing how winos are the ones who get the reputation of being snobs.
2. “So you’re just too good for beer?”
Not at all. I just prefer wine.
3. “You’re such a snob.”
Usually this is the third attempt to shame the affronted wine drinker, but the appropriate response is as follows: “As a snob, I prefer to remain apart from the proletariats. Please, be on your way.”
4. “Wouldn’t you rather something a little, uh, stronger?”
This glass of wine is plenty strong, thank you.
5. “Who orders wine at a dive bar?”
Um, this guy.
6. “Is that for your [partner, wife, girlfriend]?”
She is very capable of getting her own glass, thank you.
7. “Do you eat cheese every night, too?”
Do you know how many things have cheese on them? Namely pizza, burgers, tacos, and queso. So naturally wine is the superior choice when eating any of the aforementioned options.
8. “What are you, French?”
You know what, so what if I am? And if I’m not, I’m going to give myself a gold star for holding up the standard for international culinary perfection.
9. “How do you afford to drink that on the regular?”
Um, have you seen the prices of a 6-pack of craft beer lately.
10. So do you just drink the whole bottle since you opened it?
Don’t mind if I do.